Bježite li namjerno od uspjeha i sreće? I kako si možete pomoći?

Foto: Flickr

Sigurno poznajete bar jednu osobu koja je naoko pametna, sposobna i simpatična, no naizgled joj ništa ne polazi od ruke. Socijalni život i/li karijera u potpunom su joj kaosu, i već se godinama ne miče s mrtve točke. A možda ste i sami takvi?

Strah od sreće u uspjeha? Ma, o čemu se tu radi?

Ispada da su ovakve vrste “namjernog” zaziranja od sreće i uspjeha poznati psihološki fenomeni. Imaju vlastito nazivlje, poznati su neki od razloga zašto do njih dolazi, a dobra je vijest i da ih možete prebroditi u nekoliko relativno lakih koraka.

Strah od postizanja osjećaja sreće zove se cherophobia, a strah od uspjeha achievemephobia. U nastavku prvo ukratko sumirajmo kako dolazi do ovih stanja ljudskog uma, kako bismo ih bolje razumjeli.

Foto: Pixabay

Razlozi za bježanje od životne sreće i uspjeha

Strah od uspjeha može se javiti zbog nekoliko glavnih razloga. Prvi je razlog taj što neki ljudi koji su u prošlosti pretrpjeli mučan ili zastrašujuć događaj počinju poistovjećivati uzbuđenost koja prilikom ostvarivanja kakvog velikog postignuća zahvaća duh i tijelo s navalom adrenalina koju su osjetili prilikom proživljavanja traumatičnog događaja u prošlosti. Stoga “izbjegavaju uspjeti”, kako ih ništa ne bi podsjećalo na psihofizičko stanje uzbuđenosti koje su osjetili prilikom traume.

Drugi razlog zašto bi se netko mogao suzdržavati od uspjeha može se svesti na problem sa samopouzdanjem. Određene osobe postaju uvjerene da ne zaslužuju uspjeti, da nisu dorasle postizanju velikih stvari jer su prenesposobne, preglupe, preružne, itd. Do ovog dolazi prilikom izloženosti verbalnom zlostavljanju, kada vas drugi uspiju uvjeriti da ste manje vrijedni, no neke osobe uspiju i same sebe uvjeriti da nisu dobre “kao ostali”.

Uz probleme sa samopouzdanjem povezan je i preuranjeni strah od neuspjeha i razočaranja, pa takve osobe zaključuju kako je najbolje ništa niti ne poduzimati ni započinjati, jer na taj način bar se neće razočarati kad im očekivanja i planovi propadnu. Ljudi koji tako razmišljaju obično izbjegavaju i bilo kakav oblik natjecanja nužnog za proboj u karijeri.

Strah od razočaranja i odgovornosti

Foto: Flickr

Zadnji razlog koji nekoga može onemogućiti da se posveti postizanju velikih stvari jest podsvjesna spoznaja da uspjeh i sreća sa sobom donose nove obaveze i nove izazove. Zahtjevno je biti sretan i uspješan. Čovjek tada mora biti organiziran, sposoban, društven, proaktivan, stalno održavati kontakte, biti pun razumijevanja…

Zato se ponekim osobama čini da je lakše nikad ne postići ništa vrijedno spomena. Iako ih takav život čini nesretnima, na taj način zapravo izbjegavaju odgovornost. Moglo bi se reći da se radi o ljudima koji nikad nisu u potpunosti odrasli, pa nastoje živjeti bez obaveza i odgovornosti, poput velike djece.

Cherophobija ili strah od sreće se pak očituje kroz anksioznost prilikom upuštanja u zabavne ili uzbudljive aktivnosti. Razlozi na njezino pojavljivanje dosta su slični kao razlozi za pojavljivanje straha od uspjeha, i mogu se također sažeti kao strah od budućeg razočaranja, osjećaj da ne zaslužujemo biti sretni, ili pak oživjeti neku potresnu traumu iz prošlosti zbog navale adrenalina u tijelo prilikom izlaganja urnebesnom provodu. Zato takve osobe obično stoje po strani od društva, zaključujući da je sigurnije i bezbolnije dosađivati se nego zabavljati.

Foto: PxHere

Kako se boriti protiv toga?

E sad, da bismo prebrodili ova stanja uma, možemo poduzeti nekoliko konkretnih koraka koji će nam značajno olakšati život i pomoći nam da počnemo živjeti “punim plućima”, ne postavljajući pred sebe lažne blokade preko kojih se sami “popikavamo”.

Kao prvo, potrebno je osvijestiti da se doista radi samo o vašem stanju uma, a ne o nečem konkretnom i izvanjskom. Ništa vas ne sprječava da uspijete u životu, da imate puno prijatelja ili da se zabavljate – osim vas samih. To je važan prvi korak. Prestanite pronalaziti isprike za svoju neaktivnost i povučenost, te osvijestite otkud problem doista dolazi. Svijet se nije urotio protiv vas. Ako to ne osvijestite, ne možete ni krenuti unaprijed.

Foto: PxHere

Sljedeća postaja – treniranje vlastitih osjećaja. Izdvojite nekoliko minuta dnevno kako biste si vjerno predočili neko sjećanje na situaciju u kojoj ste bili doista sretni ili uspješni. Doista se potrudite proživjeti tu situaciju ponovno u svojim mislima – prisjetite se gdje ste bili, što ste točno radili, kakav je bio dan, kakvi su mirisi prevladavali – sve čega se možete sjetiti. Zatim si što vjernije predočite osjećaj sreće i ispunjenja koji su vas tom prilikom obuzeli, i koliko ste se dobro tada osjećali. To će vas motivirati da ponovno potražite uspjeh i sreću.

Istu vježbu vizualizacije ponovite i prisjećajući se nekih neugodnih situacija, kako biste naučili obraniti se od negativnih osjećaja i prebroditi ih. Ipak, ne odabirite vizualizaciju nekog doista traumatičnog događaja bez nadzora psihijatra. Ako ovu vježbu izvodite sami, izaberite neko umjereno neugodno sjećanje.

Foto: PxHere

Aktivnosti poput meditacije i izrađivanja liste stvari na kojima možete biti zahvalni u svome životu također su od velike pomoći pri nošenju s ovim problemima i strahovima.

Osim toga, počnite se izlagati malim količinama sreće i odgovornosti, pa od njih napredujte prema većima. Za početak, skrenite sa svoga ustaljenog puta i pojedite sladoled u parku iako to ne spada u vašu dnevnu rutinu. Na poslu odvojite dodatnih 10-15 minuta na kraju radnog dana i obavite jedan zadatak “ekstra”, time pokazavši dozu proaktivnosti i ambicije. Ovo se mogu činiti kao sitnice, ali ako napredujete od manjih prema većim izazovima i uzbuđenjima, kao da se penjete uza stepenice, mogli biste se naći pri vrhu prije nego li i mislite, te shvatiti da je vašeg straha od sreće i uspjeha nestalo.

Pokušajte, besplatno je! 🙂

Preporuka za čitanje: Veliki dvodijelni intervju s najvećih hrvatskim alternativcem: “Ne trebaju vam gurui!”

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  212. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was wondering what all is needed to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very web smart so I’m not 100% positive. Any recommendations or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

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  214. My developer is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the costs. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on numerous websites for about a year and am nervous about switching to another platform. I have heard fantastic things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress posts into it? Any help would be really appreciated!

  215. I have learned quite a few important things via your post. I might also like to express that there may be a situation in which you will apply for a loan and never need a cosigner such as a Federal Student Support Loan. But when you are getting a loan through a common loan provider then you need to be willing to have a cosigner ready to allow you to. The lenders will certainly base their decision using a few issues but the most significant will be your credit rating. There are some creditors that will in addition look at your work history and make up your mind based on this but in most cases it will be based on on your scores.

  216. I believe that avoiding highly processed foods would be the first step in order to lose weight. They will taste great, but prepared foods include very little vitamins and minerals, making you eat more only to have enough strength to get over the day. For anyone who is constantly eating these foods, switching to whole grains and other complex carbohydrates will let you have more vigor while ingesting less. Thanks alot : ) for your blog post.

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  224. With havin so much content do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright infringement? My site has a lot of exclusive content I’ve either written myself or outsourced but it seems a lot of it is popping it up all over the web without my authorization. Do you know any techniques to help protect against content from being stolen? I’d truly appreciate it.

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  226. obviously like your web-site however you need to take a look at the spelling on several of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling problems and I in finding it very bothersome to tell the reality on the other hand I will certainly come again again.

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  239. naturally like your web-site however you need to take a look at the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling issues and I in finding it very troublesome to tell the truth on the other hand I’ll certainly come back again.

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  241. Hi, i have a totally free wordpress blog. I have added the widgets that can be found in the widget area. However just how do i include widgets that are from 3rd parties such as clustrmaps? If free wordpress blogs don’t enable that, which complimentary blog site service allows that?.

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  247. I was curious if you ever thought of changing the structure of your website? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or 2 pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?

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  255. Hi there this is somewhat of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding know-how so I wanted to get advice from someone with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

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  260. Today, I went to the beach with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely off topic but I had to tell someone!

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  263. We’re a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community. Your web site offered us with valuable info to work on. You’ve done a formidable job and our entire community will be grateful to you.

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